Let’s be honest, the effect was good, for the first 20-minutes into the first glass of wine.
But the second glass (plus more) never delivered the same effect as the first glass. Ever!
The effect never lasted, but I’d order or pour more because once that first glass of wine was in my bloodstream, I’d say, “oh screw it, I’ll have another…”
20 minutes! That’s all I got. That’s all anyone really gets from alcohol and then it turns, quickly. Let’s be honest.
There’s this thing that I call drinking amnesia. I had it for years. Here’s how it goes: I’d drink, I loved the “numb” that wine delivered, I felt gross (physically) the next day, so I stopped drinking for short periods over a course of many years, then I would think, “why am I being so restrictive?” so I’d start drinking again and the cycle continued. It never changed.
Drinking amnesia happens when we stop drinking for any amount of time: 10 days, 60 days, 6 months and then these thoughts will start spinning through your head:
“Live a little, everything in moderation.”
“It would be nice to have a drink on special occasions.”
“I’m overthinking this, I can have a glass of wine every now and again.”
When I started drinking on any given evening or after taking a drinking hiatus I drank because I wanted the effect. Period! It had nothing to do with a holiday, stressor, event, time of year, vacation, celebration, people, the taste, etc, but it had everything to do with wanting the physiological effect that wine delivered to my body and brain…for the first 20 minutes.
Drinking amnesia happens. It doesn’t matter how much or little you drank or how well you functioned.
Drinking has a (seemingly) positive effect. But that effect never lasts. Let’s be honest about that. And that’s why I don’t/won’t step back on the drinking merry-go-round. That short-lived effect isn’t worth the long-term real effects.
Resources For Gray Area Drinkers: